So, I confirmed my appointment on the 20th January at the complex needs service within the deadline. I spoke to a real person, not voicemail this time, and he said he'd let my contact know. I did ask at the time if it could be brought forward, or if there was any indication that the crisis team from y had made the call they promised to make(!), but apparently it can't and there isn't. Quelle surprise.
Then I got a message on my voicemail at 5pm yesterday saying that I haven't confirmed my appointment, but not to worry because it has to be moved to the 10th February anyway. I tried to call back to say that I had confirmed and although I can make the 10th February I am concerned that's a long way off, but the office closes at 5 so had to leave a voicemail.
Phoned back today to confirm that the message I left yesterday was actually picked up, and apparently it was but I got a bit of an earful for asking if I could see anyone any sooner than the 10th Feb. Never mind.
So I was getting a bit pissed off at everything that's happened with services in both x and y, and started mumbling about the worst PCT in England. It's probably unfair, but I feel that they've been truly dismal. Nothing they've offered has been followed through on, most appointments have been cut short for one reason or another, and when I try to ask for any support at all I'm dismissed and patronised. I left a PCT with the best reputation in London for this. Maybe everyone's right after all, and I shouldn't have bothered trying to move on.
Then, in a truly weird turn of events, I found a voicemail on my phone after an exam today saying that "Doctor [inaudible]'s secretary from [inaudible] got the message from [my local surgery] and will send me an appointment." So I have no idea who they are or what it's for but maybe this represents progress? Or maybe I'm being called in for the obligatory smear test in honour of my twenty-fifth birthday...
Showing posts with label complex needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label complex needs. Show all posts
Friday, 14 January 2011
Friday, 31 December 2010
New Year's Eve
Today's appointment with the crisis team wasn't so bad. I've agreed not to see them any more (I don't think the stress / constant let-down was particularly helpful, after all), and they've said they'll get in touch with the complex needs team in x to get them to move my next appointment forward (have just had a letter offering me one on the 20th January).
And it's New Year's Eve so I'm going in to London to see some friends and have a thoroughly civilised meal and drink. I was let down by the person who was meant to be putting me up overnight but after a ring around I've managed to procure a sofa elsewhere at the last minute so now I can try to relax. Girlie can't be with us because she has to work overnight but it will be nice to see everyone before I go back to uni in a couple of weeks.
And it's New Year's Eve so I'm going in to London to see some friends and have a thoroughly civilised meal and drink. I was let down by the person who was meant to be putting me up overnight but after a ring around I've managed to procure a sofa elsewhere at the last minute so now I can try to relax. Girlie can't be with us because she has to work overnight but it will be nice to see everyone before I go back to uni in a couple of weeks.
Thursday, 23 December 2010
Up and down like a yo-yo
Today was pretty bad.
So I go to university in town x but I have to spend my holiday at my parents' house in town y. This is not especially unusual for undergraduates (rarer, admittedly for postgraduates) so I would have thought it would be easy enough to understand. I also thought I was pretty lucky because, although they're in different counties and not connected by public transport, x and y are in the same Primary Care Trust (National Health Service local authority). Apparently this doesn't make a difference.
When I phoned them at 11 (under some duress, my mum had to make me do it, I hate feeling like I'm making a fuss) the Crisis Team y had no idea that the psychiatrist from A&E had tried to refer me, and claimed they had no record of a phone call at 8 the night before. Despite that, they agreed to see me at midday so I made my way down there.
After a half hour conversation with two of the nurses, which mostly consisted of telling me off for leaving an area where I had had consistent local health support in order to get on with my life and education rather than remaining in a job I hated for the sake of a thread of support (casting no aspersions on my care co-ordinator, who was brilliant). I just can't do that. I have to go on with my life. One of the nurses also told me that I shouldn't worry about the fact I had a bad time at my first appointment with the complex needs team in x, because "if someone in a shop was rude, you'd still go back". Firstly, that is an appalling analogy. Secondly, no I wouldn't. I have an anxiety disorder and a crippling fear of being disliked. If someone is rude to me, I assume they don't like me and I avoid them at all costs.
I also got a bit annoyed that I was more or less told off for being "emotional", because "that's how you presented to your GP in October". I don't understand why that's not ok? I'm emotional because that's how I am at the moment. I'm a wreck. I don't really leave my room unless it's to go into London because I feel safer there.
Anyway, the rest of the day was spent up-and-down with the Crisis Team. When I left, I had an agreement that we would talk by phone tomorrow and Christmas Day and I'll see them on Boxing Day. The two nurses I saw both agreed that if I feel safer away from home it's not worth changing my plans to be at church on Christmas Eve and Day.
About 20 mins after I'd left, maybe less, when I was with Mum in the supermarket, I had a phone call saying that if they're going to keep me on I need to register as a temporary resident at my parents' surgery so I agreed to that.
I phoned back an hour or so later, just to confirm that I had registered and that seemed to be ok, but almost as soon as I had hung up I got another phone call to say that they won't be able to see me after all, but I can go to my GP if I take another overdose and then maybe they'll see me now I'm on their books.
So that was pretty shit and my parents decided to get involved. I wasn't particularly keen, but couldn't stop them from getting the number and calling so they went ahead and did so. After about 30 minutes of circular argument Dad managed to get them to agree to go back to the original plan, so I'll talk to them by phone over the next two days and see someone on Boxing Day. Don't know when they'll phone but I made it clear when I intend to be travelling, and even offered to go by in the morning if they'd rather see me in person but they said no after all that fuss.
I don't know how much I want to engage with a team of people who don't give a shit but it's only fair to give them a chance, right?
(On the plus side, had to keep an appointment with my parents' surgery in order to maintain the temporary registration, and they were pleasant enough, so if I do have to go back that wouldn't be awful.)
So I go to university in town x but I have to spend my holiday at my parents' house in town y. This is not especially unusual for undergraduates (rarer, admittedly for postgraduates) so I would have thought it would be easy enough to understand. I also thought I was pretty lucky because, although they're in different counties and not connected by public transport, x and y are in the same Primary Care Trust (National Health Service local authority). Apparently this doesn't make a difference.
When I phoned them at 11 (under some duress, my mum had to make me do it, I hate feeling like I'm making a fuss) the Crisis Team y had no idea that the psychiatrist from A&E had tried to refer me, and claimed they had no record of a phone call at 8 the night before. Despite that, they agreed to see me at midday so I made my way down there.
After a half hour conversation with two of the nurses, which mostly consisted of telling me off for leaving an area where I had had consistent local health support in order to get on with my life and education rather than remaining in a job I hated for the sake of a thread of support (casting no aspersions on my care co-ordinator, who was brilliant). I just can't do that. I have to go on with my life. One of the nurses also told me that I shouldn't worry about the fact I had a bad time at my first appointment with the complex needs team in x, because "if someone in a shop was rude, you'd still go back". Firstly, that is an appalling analogy. Secondly, no I wouldn't. I have an anxiety disorder and a crippling fear of being disliked. If someone is rude to me, I assume they don't like me and I avoid them at all costs.
I also got a bit annoyed that I was more or less told off for being "emotional", because "that's how you presented to your GP in October". I don't understand why that's not ok? I'm emotional because that's how I am at the moment. I'm a wreck. I don't really leave my room unless it's to go into London because I feel safer there.
Anyway, the rest of the day was spent up-and-down with the Crisis Team. When I left, I had an agreement that we would talk by phone tomorrow and Christmas Day and I'll see them on Boxing Day. The two nurses I saw both agreed that if I feel safer away from home it's not worth changing my plans to be at church on Christmas Eve and Day.
About 20 mins after I'd left, maybe less, when I was with Mum in the supermarket, I had a phone call saying that if they're going to keep me on I need to register as a temporary resident at my parents' surgery so I agreed to that.
I phoned back an hour or so later, just to confirm that I had registered and that seemed to be ok, but almost as soon as I had hung up I got another phone call to say that they won't be able to see me after all, but I can go to my GP if I take another overdose and then maybe they'll see me now I'm on their books.
So that was pretty shit and my parents decided to get involved. I wasn't particularly keen, but couldn't stop them from getting the number and calling so they went ahead and did so. After about 30 minutes of circular argument Dad managed to get them to agree to go back to the original plan, so I'll talk to them by phone over the next two days and see someone on Boxing Day. Don't know when they'll phone but I made it clear when I intend to be travelling, and even offered to go by in the morning if they'd rather see me in person but they said no after all that fuss.
I don't know how much I want to engage with a team of people who don't give a shit but it's only fair to give them a chance, right?
(On the plus side, had to keep an appointment with my parents' surgery in order to maintain the temporary registration, and they were pleasant enough, so if I do have to go back that wouldn't be awful.)
Thursday, 2 December 2010
Not a good appointment
Since I've been at university, my GP and my former care co-ordinator have both been trying to get me some contact with the local CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) to set up an appointment with a care co-ordinator there. This is currently not happening and no amount of suggesting it might be important (as I am currently without care) is making it happen.
Instead, I have been referred to the laughingly euphemistic "Complex Needs" service. I accepted and confirmed the appointment as instructed (left a voicemail that wasn't returned and also sent an email). I was really impressed with the appointment letter they sent me, which contained detailed directions through the health service complex to the right building and an outline of how to gain admission.
Sadly, the reality was somewhat different. It was snowing over most of England today, and the south was badly hit. I arrived for my 2:30 appointment in the middle of a snow storm, and reception was closed. A helpful note on the door suggested I ring the buzzer for my appointment. I did, and no one answered, but I was 10 minutes early so I waited.
At 2:30, I rang the buzzer again. Again, it rang inside the building but wasn't answered. Gave it a few minutes, tried again. And a third time. Then a nice person from the next door building stuck their head out and said they'd tried to phone the complex needs team but no one was answering. Now, I know from experience that appearing not to show up for an appointment (for whatever reason) pushes you right back down the pile and mental health waiting lists are unpredictable things. So I waited some more. At 2:55, just as I was about to give up, a member of staff walked out of the building. I explained the situation, and she let me in and found a colleague of hers to help. He then found the woman I was due to see and she came to find me.
It didn't get much better from there. Firstly, she kept calling me Rachel (which is not even close to being my name), and then she told me that she did call reception but because no one answered the phone she assumed I hadn't shown up. Not especially logical, but she wasn't to know I was stranded outside.
The appointment itself then didn't go too well. I had filled in a detailed questionnaire, which she mis-read and barely gave me a right of reply. She ended up concluding the following:
1) I haven't self harmed since I arrived at university
I self-harm daily, often more than once in a day
2) It is easy to get to my university town, x, from my home town, y
I don't drive and there is no public transport between the two.
3) Despite that, I shouldn't bother coming back for appointments during the six-week vacation...
????
4)...because I am safe at home
I feel least safe at home
So, although I tried to interject and explain where her assumptions were wrong, I failed. So that was perhaps the worst appointment I've been to since the Austrian psychiatrist who told me (aged 17) that I'm gay because I don't feel attractive enough to be straight....
Instead, I have been referred to the laughingly euphemistic "Complex Needs" service. I accepted and confirmed the appointment as instructed (left a voicemail that wasn't returned and also sent an email). I was really impressed with the appointment letter they sent me, which contained detailed directions through the health service complex to the right building and an outline of how to gain admission.
Sadly, the reality was somewhat different. It was snowing over most of England today, and the south was badly hit. I arrived for my 2:30 appointment in the middle of a snow storm, and reception was closed. A helpful note on the door suggested I ring the buzzer for my appointment. I did, and no one answered, but I was 10 minutes early so I waited.
At 2:30, I rang the buzzer again. Again, it rang inside the building but wasn't answered. Gave it a few minutes, tried again. And a third time. Then a nice person from the next door building stuck their head out and said they'd tried to phone the complex needs team but no one was answering. Now, I know from experience that appearing not to show up for an appointment (for whatever reason) pushes you right back down the pile and mental health waiting lists are unpredictable things. So I waited some more. At 2:55, just as I was about to give up, a member of staff walked out of the building. I explained the situation, and she let me in and found a colleague of hers to help. He then found the woman I was due to see and she came to find me.
It didn't get much better from there. Firstly, she kept calling me Rachel (which is not even close to being my name), and then she told me that she did call reception but because no one answered the phone she assumed I hadn't shown up. Not especially logical, but she wasn't to know I was stranded outside.
The appointment itself then didn't go too well. I had filled in a detailed questionnaire, which she mis-read and barely gave me a right of reply. She ended up concluding the following:
1) I haven't self harmed since I arrived at university
I self-harm daily, often more than once in a day
2) It is easy to get to my university town, x, from my home town, y
I don't drive and there is no public transport between the two.
3) Despite that, I shouldn't bother coming back for appointments during the six-week vacation...
????
4)...because I am safe at home
I feel least safe at home
So, although I tried to interject and explain where her assumptions were wrong, I failed. So that was perhaps the worst appointment I've been to since the Austrian psychiatrist who told me (aged 17) that I'm gay because I don't feel attractive enough to be straight....
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